from django.conf import settings
from reddit.post import after_two_years_of_this_bullshit_i_got_drunk_one
class AfterTwoYearsOfThisBullshitIGotDrunkOneAfternoonAndLostIt.(object):
# Jan. 29, 2014, 9:40 p.m.
def  __init__ ( self, category="AdviceAnimals", adult=False, author="Vaginal_Scrapings" ):
full_title = "After two years of this bullshit I got drunk one afternoon and lost it."
url = "http://memedad.com/memes/107869.jpg"

votes = {"up": 33755, "down":31742}
score = 2013

def  load_comments ( 753 ):
if ups == 3088 and downs == 1084:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 9:45 p.m."
author = "hwmendoz"
"""poor dog took all the blame, when all it did was love and play"""
elif ups == 1509 and downs == 428:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 9:56 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""Haha she never yelled at it. Not once. Even drunk me as bastardly as he is wouldn't condemn a dog to that. She was outside running it through her training course talking to it like a baby that afternoon. Which when I sobered up I was thankful for. It was petty and irresponsible but it was college housing and everyone who lived on our row of slums was equally as terrible, including both her and myself. It was like scrolling to the bottom of a comments page and reading the collapsed threads. I honestly kind of miss living there, my new digs are in a middle-class family neighborhood with only one crackhouse. EDIT: In a feeble attempt to stop the now thirty some odd people raging in my inbox(two threats of bodily harm in a day! A new record!) I give you this: * [Shitty diagram of the parking predicament.](http://i.imgur.com/ue0YcMp.jpg) * We spoke with her and her boyfriend for two years about the issue. Always got apologies but within a month she would sneak back over on our side and sometimes ignore us knocking when we had to leave. The city responded when they had time, it wasn't guaranteed they would until I had moved away. You get fucked in the ass parking funky now. * The dog was her baby, it could do no wrong, she trained it daily and would not put it down, beat it, or otherwise punish it. * Are these shitty attempts at defending myself? Fuck, no. I was a drunk asshole. * We did get a new coffee table out of it though, the dog chewed it up and they threw it out. When I moved out """
elif ups == 536 and downs == 88:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:28 p.m."
author = "WORST_OF_REDDITOR"
""">with only one crack house For shame /u/Vaginal_Scrapings. How do you live with yourself man? """
elif ups == 422 and downs == 98:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:37 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""I totally thought it was a classy neighborhood. We have Jazz concerts in our park every summer for crying out loud, Jazz concerts where people set up tables with wine and candles. I thought we lucked out. Then a few weeks after the neighbors moved in my gf goes "you know they don't even have furniture yet?" and it occurred to me what that might have meant. A couple months of carefully watching the activity and just doublechecking locks the cops show up and inform us there was stolen merchandise and large amounts of drug paraphernalia. Two months later the lights are back on and they never make eye contact with anyone when they get into their car. Except for the guy who has thrown away a full 4 toilets this year and the drug house it's pretty decent."""
[]
elif ups == 11 and downs == 1:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:45 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""There is a crack house in every neighbourhood, trust me. """
[]
elif ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:48 a.m."
author = "XSaffireX"
"""Yeah. Only one house to buy crack? Fuck man, I don't know if I could live there, personally."""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:41 a.m."
author = "Magikarpster"
"""He IS the crack house"""
elif ups == 46 and downs == 4:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:48 p.m."
author = "Jake0024"
"""> It was like scrolling to the bottom of a comments page and reading the collapsed threads. When you have to explain real life experiences with analogies from browsing Reddit, you may have gone too far."""
elif ups == 25 and downs == 5:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, midnight"
author = "liquidtape"
"""He's just appealing to his audience."""
elif ups == 24 and downs == 4:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:57 p.m."
author = "SpontaneousLightBulb"
"""Temple University?"""
elif ups == 26 and downs == 8:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:59 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""SUNY Oswego. Happy cakeday!"""
[]
elif ups == 23 and downs == 4:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:04 p.m."
author = "Darnobar"
"""Only somebody with the name Vaginal Scrapings would come uo with a plan so dastardly. Seriously, this is cleverly evil. You should consider posting this to /r/pettyrevenge."""
elif ups == 14 and downs == 2:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:32 p.m."
author = "SubAtomicPlayboy"
"""Only one crackhouse? Shit, my neighborhood has at least twelve crackhouses. Better do yourself a favor and move to a better neighborhood man."""
elif ups == 20 and downs == 4:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:56 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""[deleted]"""
elif ups == 10 and downs == 2:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:23 a.m."
author = "aelbric"
"""Kind of a "Dr. Doolittle and Mr. Hyde""""
elif ups == 7 and downs == 4:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:46 p.m."
author = "Soviet-Toaster"
"""That shits clever. Son, i aint even mad."""
if ups == 254 and downs == 37:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:20 p.m."
author = "thor03"
"""If you were drunk, it is probably better that you couldn't move your car :)"""
elif ups == 159 and downs == 50:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:58 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""This is true. The possible outcome is so scary I don't even like having wine with dinner and driving."""
elif ups == 124 and downs == 12:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:56 p.m."
author = "scoToBAGgins"
"""Well dinner and driving is scary enough. But all three at once? How many hands do you have??"""
elif ups == 27 and downs == 5:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:11 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""[deleted]"""
[]
elif ups == 39 and downs == 8:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:01 a.m."
author = "BeardedDuck"
"""[I can't even eat and drive.](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/sunny-cerealcrash2.gif)"""
[]
elif ups == 5 and downs == 2:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:11 a.m."
author = "greenyellowbird"
"""Some might consider the wine to be dinner."""
elif ups == 14 and downs == 2:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:48 p.m."
author = "RicDan"
"""Maybe the neighbour knew and did so to save OPs troubles. Scumbag OP. """
if ups == 37 and downs == 7:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:49 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""gonna need some more info before I decide whether this is awesome or lame. define "parked in front" for me. were you in your driveway and she double-parked you in? were you both on the street and her car was simply near yours? did it prevent you from leaving? could she have parked anywhere else? I want to assume she was double-parking you somehow. but people can get pissed off at far less just by the mere fact that whatever it is keeps occurring."""
elif ups == 116 and downs == 18:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:58 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""[Here's a visual diagram because I explained it so poorly. Sorry about that!](http://imgur.com/ue0YcMp)"""
elif ups == 52 and downs == 4:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:07 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""ok, I now feel your pain. fuck her living room. also well done on taking the time to present the information visually. I can only imagine the mental clusterfuck that would have occurred had you tried to explain that using words"""
elif ups == 21 and downs == 2:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:27 a.m."
author = "TokyoXtreme"
"""Dat power plant. """
elif ups == 16 and downs == 2:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:41 a.m."
author = "CaptainBrysO"
"""I really need to know why there is a power plant included in the diagram. It's bothering me."""
[]
elif ups == 16 and downs == 3:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:17 a.m."
author = "ScrabbleTheOpossum"
"""A diagram, and the word "goad." You kick ass."""
elif ups == 10 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:18 a.m."
author = "legrandloup"
"""I somehow think we are ignoring the elephant in the room. Also, please diagram other things. """
elif ups == 43 and downs == 13:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:32 a.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""[Here's a diagram of my bedroom with the hole in the wall.](http://imgur.com/AIthcR2)"""
[]
elif ups == 12 and downs == 3:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:15 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""Why not just park at the end of the driveway so she cant block you? Seems like a no brainer."""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:22 a.m."
author = "evilspoons"
"""I'd just have a fence put up."""
if ups == 126 and downs == 14:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:38 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
""""Parking in front of my car." I presume you mean blocking you in the driveway? Plenty of people park in front of you."""
elif ups == 38 and downs == 15:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:51 p.m."
author = "Moused"
"""I'm curious about this too... What'd you mean, OP? Our neighbours get pissed if I park outside of their house... I don't understand it at all. We have 4 cars here between us, and parking outside of theirs is just more convenient for me at times. Now I inconvenience myself, u-turn, and park on the other side of the road. Don't worry guys, I'm sure a confession bear will be coming about this."""
elif ups == 40 and downs == 8:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:37 a.m."
author = "brazen"
"""Where I used to live, in this fairly average middle-class neighborhood, there was one guy on