from django.conf import settings
from reddit.post import after_two_years_of_this_bullshit_i_got_drunk_one
class AfterTwoYearsOfThisBullshitIGotDrunkOneAfternoonAndLostIt.(object):
# Jan. 29, 2014, 9:40 p.m.
def  __init__ ( self, category="AdviceAnimals", adult=False, author="Vaginal_Scrapings" ):
full_title = "After two years of this bullshit I got drunk one afternoon and lost it."
url = "http://memedad.com/memes/107869.jpg"

votes = {"up": 2017, "down":0}
score = 2017

def  load_comments ( 746 ):
if ups == 1999 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 9:45 p.m."
author = "hwmendoz"
"""poor dog took all the blame, when all it did was love and play"""
elif ups == 1076 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 9:56 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""Haha she never yelled at it. Not once. Even drunk me as bastardly as he is wouldn't condemn a dog to that. She was outside running it through her training course talking to it like a baby that afternoon. Which when I sobered up I was thankful for. It was petty and irresponsible but it was college housing and everyone who lived on our row of slums was equally as terrible, including both her and myself. It was like scrolling to the bottom of a comments page and reading the collapsed threads. I honestly kind of miss living there, my new digs are in a middle-class family neighborhood with only one crackhouse. EDIT: In a feeble attempt to stop the now thirty some odd people raging in my inbox(two threats of bodily harm in a day! A new record!) I give you this: * [Shitty diagram of the parking predicament.](http://i.imgur.com/ue0YcMp.jpg) * We spoke with her and her boyfriend for two years about the issue. Always got apologies but within a month she would sneak back over on our side and sometimes ignore us knocking when we had to leave. The city responded when they had time, it wasn't guaranteed they would until I had moved away. You get fucked in the ass parking funky now. * The dog was her baby, it could do no wrong, she trained it daily and would not put it down, beat it, or otherwise punish it. * Are these shitty attempts at defending myself? Fuck, no. I was a drunk asshole. * We did get a new coffee table out of it though, the dog chewed it up and they threw it out. When I moved out """
elif ups == 444 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:28 p.m."
author = "WORST_OF_REDDITOR"
""">with only one crack house For shame /u/Vaginal_Scrapings. How do you live with yourself man? """
elif ups == 327 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:37 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""I totally thought it was a classy neighborhood. We have Jazz concerts in our park every summer for crying out loud, Jazz concerts where people set up tables with wine and candles. I thought we lucked out. Then a few weeks after the neighbors moved in my gf goes "you know they don't even have furniture yet?" and it occurred to me what that might have meant. A couple months of carefully watching the activity and just doublechecking locks the cops show up and inform us there was stolen merchandise and large amounts of drug paraphernalia. Two months later the lights are back on and they never make eye contact with anyone when they get into their car. Except for the guy who has thrown away a full 4 toilets this year and the drug house it's pretty decent."""
[]
elif ups == 9 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:45 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""There is a crack house in every neighbourhood, trust me. """
[]
elif ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:48 a.m."
author = "XSaffireX"
"""Yeah. Only one house to buy crack? Fuck man, I don't know if I could live there, personally."""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:41 a.m."
author = "Magikarpster"
"""He IS the crack house"""
elif ups == 38 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:48 p.m."
author = "Jake0024"
"""> It was like scrolling to the bottom of a comments page and reading the collapsed threads. When you have to explain real life experiences with analogies from browsing Reddit, you may have gone too far."""
elif ups == 20 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, midnight"
author = "liquidtape"
"""He's just appealing to his audience."""
elif ups == 20 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:57 p.m."
author = "SpontaneousLightBulb"
"""Temple University?"""
elif ups == 17 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:59 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""SUNY Oswego. Happy cakeday!"""
[]
elif ups == 19 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:04 p.m."
author = "Darnobar"
"""Only somebody with the name Vaginal Scrapings would come uo with a plan so dastardly. Seriously, this is cleverly evil. You should consider posting this to /r/pettyrevenge."""
elif ups == 13 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:32 p.m."
author = "SubAtomicPlayboy"
"""Only one crackhouse? Shit, my neighborhood has at least twelve crackhouses. Better do yourself a favor and move to a better neighborhood man."""
elif ups == 15 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:56 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""[deleted]"""
elif ups == 5 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:23 a.m."
author = "aelbric"
"""Kind of a "Dr. Doolittle and Mr. Hyde""""
elif ups == 5 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:46 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""That shits clever. Son, i aint even mad."""
if ups == 213 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:20 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""[deleted]"""
elif ups == 110 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:58 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""This is true. The possible outcome is so scary I don't even like having wine with dinner and driving."""
elif ups == 109 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:56 p.m."
author = "scoToBAGgins"
"""Well dinner and driving is scary enough. But all three at once? How many hands do you have??"""
elif ups == 24 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:11 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""[deleted]"""
[]
elif ups == 36 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:01 a.m."
author = "BeardedDuck"
"""[I can't even eat and drive.](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/sunny-cerealcrash2.gif)"""
[]
elif ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:11 a.m."
author = "greenyellowbird"
"""Some might consider the wine to be dinner."""
elif ups == 13 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:48 p.m."
author = "RicDan"
"""Maybe the neighbour knew and did so to save OPs troubles. Scumbag OP. """
if ups == 30 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:49 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""gonna need some more info before I decide whether this is awesome or lame. define "parked in front" for me. were you in your driveway and she double-parked you in? were you both on the street and her car was simply near yours? did it prevent you from leaving? could she have parked anywhere else? I want to assume she was double-parking you somehow. but people can get pissed off at far less just by the mere fact that whatever it is keeps occurring."""
elif ups == 95 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:58 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""[Here's a visual diagram because I explained it so poorly. Sorry about that!](http://imgur.com/ue0YcMp)"""
elif ups == 46 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:07 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""ok, I now feel your pain. fuck her living room. also well done on taking the time to present the information visually. I can only imagine the mental clusterfuck that would have occurred had you tried to explain that using words"""
elif ups == 18 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:27 a.m."
author = "TokyoXtreme"
"""Dat power plant. """
elif ups == 13 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:41 a.m."
author = "CaptainBrysO"
"""I really need to know why there is a power plant included in the diagram. It's bothering me."""
[]
elif ups == 14 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:17 a.m."
author = "ScrabbleTheOpossum"
"""A diagram, and the word "goad." You kick ass."""
elif ups == 9 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:18 a.m."
author = "legrandloup"
"""I somehow think we are ignoring the elephant in the room. Also, please diagram other things. """
elif ups == 31 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:32 a.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""[Here's a diagram of my bedroom with the hole in the wall.](http://imgur.com/AIthcR2)"""
[]
elif ups == 9 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:15 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""Why not just park at the end of the driveway so she cant block you? Seems like a no brainer."""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:22 a.m."
author = "evilspoons"
"""I'd just have a fence put up."""
if ups == 111 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:38 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
""""Parking in front of my car." I presume you mean blocking you in the driveway? Plenty of people park in front of you."""
elif ups == 22 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:51 p.m."
author = "Moused"
"""I'm curious about this too... What'd you mean, OP? Our neighbours get pissed if I park outside of their house... I don't understand it at all. We have 4 cars here between us, and parking outside of theirs is just more convenient for me at times. Now I inconvenience myself, u-turn, and park on the other side of the road. Don't worry guys, I'm sure a confession bear will be coming about this."""
elif ups == 34 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:37 a.m."
author = "brazen"
"""Where I used to live, in this fairly average middle-class neighborhood, there was one guy on our block that owned this old (like 70's) rusted and dirty pickup. It was just covered in rust and any of the light blue paint it did have was completely ashy and oxidized. And he would leave this parked in front of my house. Now I don't really care about eyesores and I don't care what people drive or really how other people keep there property, but his reason bothered me. Everyone on this street had garages so there were no other cars on the street. This guy had his regular car in his garage and for some reason wanted to hang on to this old pickup, BUT he wouldn't park it in front of his own house, even though he had just as much curb as me or anyone else, because he would rather it made someone else's property look trashy rather than his own. Talking to some of the other neighbors I guess he would move it around from neighbor to neighbor as people complained. Technically, you are allowed to park a _running_ licensed vehicle on any public street that wasn't marked "no parking". But after it had been sitting for a while, if you called the police he would have to verify that it was in fact a running vehicle (you can't leave a broken down vehicle parked on the street). So this is what all the neighbors started doing. While my house was up for sale it ended up there until I lived there a few months and found all this out. So anyway, yes he was allowed to park there and I didn't really care, but it still bothered me that someone could just be so self-centered that they don't want an eyesore in front of their own house so they just stick it in front of their neighbors. Legal or not, it's just a jerk thing to do, if you ask me. So long story short, he got sick of verifying it was running and moved it two blocks away to leave it in front of a library."""
elif ups == 16 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:18 a.m."
author = "Ashton_butcher"
"""You should have found a really, really shitty car on craigslist, haggled it down to no more than a couple hundred and left it on his curb."""
[]
elif ups == 15 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:04 a.m."
author = "jakes_on_you"
"""We got 5 cars in a single file driveway, with a communal cup of spare keys. We call it the car shuffle, if you don't drive for a week your car inevitably migrates to the deep end of the driveway and it takes 30 minutes to get it out."""
elif ups == 22 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:09 a.m."
author = "Moused"
"""That is... ridiculously filled with effort. You could probably walk a few towns away and still get there quicker than shuffling the cars. I'd opt for a system change - everyone leave their car in neutral, handbrake off. Just push the front car and the rest will *flowwww* out of the driveway. Easy!"""
[]
elif ups == 8 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:58 p.m."
author = "xombem"
"""My old neighbors used to park in front of my house. Someone had a fight and all of the windows got smashed in and tires destroyed. That piece of shit sat in front of my house like that for at least a week. No one even bothered to clean up the glass until they hauled it off. """
elif ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:10 a.m."
author = "Moused"
"""*Someone*, hey. ^^PS ^^you ^^still ^^owe ^^me ^^a ^^new ^^car."""
elif ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:29 a.m."
author = "Blizzaldo"
"""I get pissed off too when people don't park infront of their own house. It's annoying when you want to have people over and it turns out your neighbours decided to park infront of your house instead of theirs. My straight is horrendous for parking on the street, so it's kind of a pet peeve of mine. Driving down it is like using a slalom course in the summer, and the fact 9/10 driveways with a car parked infront of the house are empty makes it more ridiculous."""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:20 a.m."
author = "ScottyEsq"
"""I had a neighbor like that. Would leave passive aggressive notes on my friends cars, and then block my driveway with her car, if they parked in 'her' spot. Having her ass towed put a stop to that nonsense. """
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1 a.m."
author = "lolfreakz"
"""I had a horrible time flying to chicago in the winter yers ago. It was like 13 hours from the west coast door to door. The reason it was so fubar was due to snow. but I got to whereI was going and every parking spot had a chair or a table "saving" a public parking spot because the person shoveled it out. Well.. good thing it was a rental car. I ran over four plastic tables and parked, passed out for 12 hours and woke up to nasty notes on the car. """
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""I, too am stumped by this."""
if ups == 407 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 9:55 p.m."
author = "swatt_haze"
"""When I first read it I thought it said "I guided the dog into the shredder" as in a wood chipper and I laughed. Im fucked up"""
elif ups == 59 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:32 p.m."
author = "kid-karma"
"""[the neighbor's dog](http://i.imgur.com/Ja8f5Ft.gif)"""
elif ups == 50 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:38 p.m."
author = "david241"
"""That was a risky click."""
elif ups == 9 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:41 p.m."
author = "swatt_haze"
"""But funny"""
[]
elif ups == 7 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:55 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""I thought it would be this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yce9umf5GR8"""
elif ups == 25 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:52 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""I thought it was going to say he blinded the dog with a laser pointer and I was like "the fuck, bro""""
elif ups == 10 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:59 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""[deleted]"""
elif ups == 9 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:06 a.m."
author = "ANUS_POKER"
"""I thought he called in his USMC buddies and issued an air strike."""
[]
if ups == 159 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:15 p.m."
author = "Ihavenocomments"
"""First, great username. Second, that seems like it would be gratifying in the short-term, but her dumbass would keep parking in front of you. You should have taken the sensible approach and burned her houses down. Then she would have parked at her new house."""
elif ups == 35 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:53 p.m."
author = "gbimmer"
"""Very sensible. As a sensible alternative OP could have also considered murder. """
elif ups == 34 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:55 p.m."
author = "Upvote_For_You_Sir"
"""murder? if OP killed her, who would drive the car away from the front of OP's house? """
elif ups == 43 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:03 a.m."
author = "DrDreads420"
"""Well what if he murdered her by cutting her brake lines? Solves both problems."""
[]
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:54 p.m."
author = "bentreflection"
"""or parked in hell."""
if ups == 10 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:58 p.m."
author = "kopking"
"""When you say got drunk and lost it, I pictured a slightly more dramatic motion that aiming a laser pen lol"""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:11 a.m."
author = "danchan22"
"""He fucking went crazy"""
if ups == 18 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:31 p.m."
author = "anjewthebearjew"
"""Plot Twist: Neighbor blocks redditor's car whenever he gets piss drunk."""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:02 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""GGG Neighbor."""
if ups == 20 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:49 p.m."
author = "ctyne"
"""Bravo. Sucks to be my neighbor tonight."""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:26 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""I think I hear all the redditors with dogs closing their blinds..."""
if ups == 7 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:14 a.m."
author = "byllz"
"""Are you confessing or bragging?"""
elif ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:16 a.m."
author = "pwnies_gonna_pwn"
"""bragfession or confragging?"""
if ups == 5 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:59 p.m."
author = "smelgie"
"""On a totally unrelated note, I just saw your neighbours dog at the pound"""
if ups == 7 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:02 a.m."
author = "tjmjnj"
"""I will not lie, I did this sort of thing unknowingly one time. My friend gave me a laser level as a gift one Christmas and I was playing with it at night on my front stairs and checking "level in my neighborhood and happened to shine it in through a side porch window of a neighbors. Well, their mastiff saw that sinister glowing red light and decided it was time to kill it. The dog ripped the wooden blinds off the window frames and pretty much destroyed everything. I had no clue this happened until about 6 months later when it was mentioned in casual conversation. I offered up my apologies and explained that maybe it was me that caused it and he was totally cool about it. We're both middle-aged men though. """
if ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:06 a.m."
author = "Dimitri2883"
"""TIL it's "goad" not "goat". """
if ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:20 a.m."
author = "DrunkFromEstonia"
"""Pfff, get more powerful laser and set his curtains on fire from your house."""
if ups == 39 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:35 p.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""Morality aside, you, sir, are a damn genius. Few people are so cunning, let alone when thoroughly plastered."""
elif ups == 28 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:38 p.m."
author = "Vaginal_Scrapings"
"""I probably saw the laser pointer then walked past that window, add alcohol, let simmer for 30 minutes and a connection was made. The drunk brain is mysterious."""
elif ups == 10 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:56 p.m."
author = "circularlogic41"
"""Why didn't you just talk to your neighbour?"""
elif ups == 51 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:09 a.m."
author = "Clay8288314"
"""> The drunk brain is mysterious. """
if ups == 28 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:33 p.m."
author = "Sweet_Fetal_Jesus"
"""That...that's genius... With that said, your username almost physically pains me. """
elif ups == 22 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:51 p.m."
author = "titanium_penis"
"""And your username is just strange."""
elif ups == 19 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:54 p.m."
author = "Upvote_For_You_Sir"
"""And your username is awesome as fuck. """
elif ups == 14 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, midnight"
author = "TheBold"
"""And * your username*."""
[]
if ups == 10 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:50 p.m."
author = "UltimateCoder"
"""[Actually..](http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/actually-im-not-even-mad-thats-amazing-meme.jpg)"""
elif ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:56 p.m."
author = "ImNotM4Dbr0"
"""Fucking genious. I thought that shit only worked for cats and cats are too small and evil to do any real dps. Now laser controlled dogs, that's some real dps right there."""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:09 a.m."
author = "SavageRS"
""""dps". Mmorpg pet mode battle ACTIVATED."""
elif ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:29 a.m."
author = "ImNotM4Dbr0"
"""I still call photos screenshots. Technically they are. I don't get the pet thing though."""
[]
if ups == 8 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:09 a.m."
author = "DJ_EZ-DICK"
"""I lost it with a long time neighbor one time a couple of years ago during the DC snowstorm of 2010. He lived upstairs and had a beagle that whined and yowlled all of the time. It was Sat. night and I had drank a lot of wine and was blaring some tunes at 10pm and he came down to ask me to turn it off because his mother was over and sleeping upstairs. I told him he had a lot of nerve to complain about noise to me, given his beagle, and that he should call the cops if he had a problem, and basically to go fuck himself, and that his mother could fuck off as well. 30 minutes later there were 6 cops at my door, one of whom was super pissed that I told someone's mother to fuck off. When that officer tried to cross the threshold of my door, I put my hand on his shoulder and told him he could not enter without a warrant. He spun me around and put me down on the ground hard, cuffed me and told me I was under arrest for assaulting a police officer. One of the other cops beat on me in the back of the paddy wagon and I ended up spending the next 43 hours in DC central booking. It was the worst place I have ever been. The case was "no-papered" and my arrest was expunged. """
if ups == 10 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:30 a.m."
author = "RamTiger_73"
"""Be careful blaming the dog. I had a friend who was fucking a girl in the ass and she shit all over the couch. When one of their dads got home they said it was the dog. The next day they asked where the dog was. Dad had taken the dog outside and shot it. Edit: made it not sound like incest"""
elif ups == 6 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:14 a.m."
author = "agreeswithfishpal"
"""Well that escalated quickly."""
if ups == 5 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:17 a.m."
author = "phanatic47"
"""Boo ya!! passive aggression!!"""
if ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:54 a.m."
author = "alyakades"
"""That's pure genius."""
if ups == 5 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:14 a.m."
author = "Eliotsajerkface"
"""I would, I don't know, talk to her like a human. It's not all about you. She's not parking there because she knows it pisses you off. She's parking there because it's a spot and nobody has told her differently. """
if ups == 16 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:13 a.m."
author = "wtfniggaplease"
"""Bullshit"""
if ups == 18 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 10:30 p.m."
author = "WORST_OF_REDDITOR"
"""Just a tad passive aggressive.. no?"""
elif ups == 23 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:44 p.m."
author = "dssssd"
"""Did he ever try talking to her first? If not then yeah, embarrassingly cowardly """
elif ups == 10 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:23 p.m."
author = "MeatyBeat"
"""EXACTLY! While I do think that the story's pretty funny, I cannot emphasize enough *this is not how we solve our problems, people.* Raymond K. Hessel, I will come back here in six weeks. If you're not on your way towards growing a spine I will kill you. """
elif ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:54 p.m."
author = "DoctorNRiviera"
"""Hmmm...six weeks. This checks out as futurive aggressive. I like where this is going."""
elif ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1 a.m."
author = "reinkarnated"
"""Came to see someone bitch about passive aggressive and was not disappointed. """
if ups == 7 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:48 p.m."
author = "Headph0ne"
"""TIL what goad [means](https://www.google.com/search?q=goad&oq=goad&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.660j0j7&sourceid=chrome&espv=210&es_sm=91&ie=UTF-8)."""
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:49 p.m."
author = "crowquills"
"""I hope the dog didn't get in trouble. """
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, midnight"
author = "princesskiki"
"""I would have used insanity pup for this one."""
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:01 a.m."
author = "youwantmyskillz"
"""Revenge GOAT"""
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:25 a.m."
author = "the_slunk"
"""I always try to detect passive aggressiveness in potential friends (to weed them out) because who needs that shit in your life. Weasely fucks too scared to communicate? Not for me, thanks. I weed them fuckers *out*."""
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:25 a.m."
author = "SenorMeximelt"
"""Like others I feel for the dog. OP has no way of knowing if the dog was spanked or yelled at."""
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:29 a.m."
author = "fatmex"
"""/r/pettyrevenge """
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:31 a.m."
author = "euanmorse"
"""Yeh, you really 'lost it' man! Don't mess with this guy..."""
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:37 a.m."
author = "chalzdaman"
"""This should be called 'passive aggressive bear'"""
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:37 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""Is there a "awesome confession bear" because that's where this should be."""
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 4:15 a.m."
author = "TXUncut"
"""Oh common. I bet you could sneak out and replace newspapers with identical copies with spelling errors and replace their new Civic with one just one shade darker.. You could be "Subtle-but-Annoying-Man!""""
if ups == 3 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 7:57 a.m."
author = "VinRayd"
"""From me to you, OP, people sending you mean comments are probably bigger assholes than you were by a long shot. Take care. """
if ups == 9 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:46 p.m."
author = "abermuffin"
"""I call bullshit"""
if ups == 5 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:22 a.m."
author = "renikulous"
"""Using a laser light in the afternoon, in the daylight? I call bullshit."""
if ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 2:21 a.m."
author = "DookieDemon"
"""I had neighbors from hell. They were always blasting loud music and fighting at odd hours. Stupid apartment had paper walls and you could hear everything. After asking them a million times nicely to keep it down, I finally lost my temper one night and yelled at them after they. Left their alarm clock going all night when they had left. Instead of becoming better neighbors they decided to egg my new car. They threw the eggs so hard that the paint was scratched. So, I decided revenge was in order, but I wasn't sure how to best pay them back for the months of insomnia and repair bills. I wasn't in a hurry, because while I wanted to hit them and hit them hard, I didn't want it to be entirely obvious that it was me. I didn't want this to escalate into a full out war but I wasn't going to let this shit slide. One night after several many glasses of wine I finally decided that the time had come. It had been about six months since the egging and I figured they would have probably forgotten the egging to a degree. I had a pump BY gun, just a cheap plastic dealy that I used to plink cans. At about midnight I turned off all the lights and made it look like I was down for the night while I waited for them to do the same. Finally my moment of retribution was at hand as I loaded up the rifle with ammo. I shot threw my window screen at their car parked outside in the parking lot. I hit the windscreen, sunroof and the hood. Each shot was silent except for a small release of compressed air and the small tik and tak of the impacts. In the morning the windscreen was pretty well cracked, especially on the driver side which was by design. The sunroof was also ruined and the hood was dimpled in several spots. They never seemed to connect the two incidents, at least to me or the law. The war did not escalate either. They continued to be awful tenants but I expected that. I was happy enough knowing that their car repair bill was probably twice of mine."""
if ups == 4 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:24 a.m."
author = "Reznik572"
"""You are an ass hole. Owner will take it out on the dog. """
if ups == 9 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 9:44 p.m."
author = "sbrankov0505"
"""Wow that is an incredibly good idea! That was an awful thing to do since the dog is going to get yelled at, but great idea. """
if ups == 6 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:13 a.m."
author = "Corknugget"
"""this did not happen"""
if ups == 14 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:52 p.m."
author = "Avant-Bard"
"""/r/thathappened"""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:35 p.m."
author = "NegroFromSpace"
"""That'd teach her!"""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 29, 2014, 11:49 p.m."
author = "wraith313"
"""Can someone explain the significance of "parking in front of my car"? Why is this a big deal at all?"""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, midnight"
author = "Incognito_was_framed"
"""Haha kind of a dick move but I give you full marks for creativity."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:32 a.m."
author = "Everyonesleep1"
"""I have a similar issue where this ass-clown thinks it's his right to park on the corner of the block (my place) when his house is at least 5 houses down. I've hocked loogies on his windshield. Anyone have some more harsh suggestions? I nearly sliced his tires the other day. Smug bitch in his Audi """
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:32 a.m."
author = "sh3rm4n"
"""the perfect crime."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:36 a.m."
author = "cantpissoffmods"
"""Dude you deserve a medal. Its probably not a nice thing to do, but it was a brilliant idea."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:37 a.m."
author = "JDub_Scrub"
"""As horrible a thing as that was to do, that's an awesome exploit of physical space. """
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:37 a.m."
author = "kaiouap"
"""Sir, you are a genius."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:47 a.m."
author = "eezle"
"""that is the best revenge I have ever heard of """
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:48 a.m."
author = "TracerRacer"
"""And later that evening your neighbor beat that dog to death with a tire iron."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:48 a.m."
author = "[deleted]"
"""You sir, are an evil genius."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:49 a.m."
author = "GIS-Rockstar"
"""Revenge is best when served... without any knowledge that it's revenge?"""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:50 a.m."
author = "-redditedited-"
"""So the one time you shouldn't have needed your car (your Drunk, so don't drive) was when you decided justice was due? """
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:51 a.m."
author = "m84m"
"""Wait, explain why parking in front of your car is bullshit? Is it in your driveway? Because if its on the street he's done nothing wrong."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:53 a.m."
author = "renome"
"""It's... it's the perfect crime."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:56 a.m."
author = "WrongPeninsula"
"""You sir, are a goddamn genius. A perfect crime."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:59 a.m."
author = "drift1122"
"""Indirect problem solving yields indirect solutions. """
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 12:59 a.m."
author = "agentup"
"""Here's what i'd done. First time it happened I'd be understanding, shit happens, people make mistakes, I'll let it pass. Second time, I'll find the neighbor, and tell him he can't park there. If he continues to do it, I'll inform the building. If nothing happens. I'll warn him one last time. If that doesn't work I'll have him towed."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:01 a.m."
author = "Spore2012"
"""I actually wonder if this would be illegal or if you could get arrested/charged for it or anything. Like assuming they knew you had malicious intent, or if they didn't know that."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:01 a.m."
author = "Runciblespoon77"
"""Now that's what I call passive aggressiveness!"""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:01 a.m."
author = "grizzburger"
"""Gloriously passive-aggressive, I love it."""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:03 a.m."
author = "Zappykablamo"
"""Please, do not buy a gun. """
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:20 a.m."
author = "jai07"
"""After reading your username and the post title I was pretty hesitant to read further, lol"""
if ups == 2 and downs == 0:
date = "Jan. 30, 2014, 1:27 a.m."
author = "xanxer"
"""/r/professionalrevenge"""