from django.conf import settings
from reddit import home
class WhatsHot(object):
# July 25, 2014, 10:46 a.m.
def  _Just_found_an_old_pi ( self, category="gaming", adult=False, author="LUKENBACHER" ):
full_title = "Just found an old picture from 1989..."
url = "http://imgur.com/Sk3wOW9"

votes = {"up": 2825, "down":0}
score = 2825

load_comments(404)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 9:05 a.m.
def  _Wiping_away_the_tear ( self, category="funny", adult=False, author="futurebrowndwarf" ):
full_title = "Wiping away the tears"
url = "http://i.imgur.com/oiifnQh.gif"

votes = {"up": 3582, "down":0}
score = 3582

load_comments(316)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 7:46 a.m.
def  _Crouching_tiger ( self, category="pics", adult=False, author="iBleeedorange" ):
full_title = "Crouching tiger"
url = "http://i.imgur.com/jjFnr1k.jpg"

votes = {"up": 4260, "down":0}
score = 4260

load_comments(558)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 8:51 a.m.
def  _Close_up_of_Ben_Affl ( self, category="movies", adult=False, author="fantoman" ):
full_title = "Close up of Ben Affleck as Batman in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice"
url = "http://i.imgur.com/I3DC4NM.jpg"

votes = {"up": 3365, "down":0}
score = 3365

load_comments(1682)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 6:02 a.m.
def  _TIL_Landmines_plante ( self, category="todayilearned", adult=False, author="Ghostaire" ):
full_title = "TIL Landmines planted on the coasts during the Falklands War accidentally created penguin sanctuaries. The penguins are too light to detonate the mines, so they live and breed safely. The sanctuaries are so popular and profitable that there are efforts to prevent removal of the mines."
url = "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Land_mine"

votes = {"up": 3748, "down":0}
score = 3748

load_comments(595)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 5:35 a.m.
def  _This_baby_seal_Take ( self, category="aww", adult=False, author="Ecocide" ):
full_title = "This baby seal. Taken in Cape Palliser, New Zealand."
url = "http://i.imgur.com/q475DKI.jpg"

votes = {"up": 3328, "down":0}
score = 3328

load_comments(128)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 5 a.m.
def  _12_seconds,_1_prey, ( self, category="gifs", adult=False, author="__mck__" ):
full_title = "12 seconds, 1 prey, 110kph"
url = "http://giant.gfycat.com/BiodegradableBitterElkhound.gif"

votes = {"up": 3487, "down":0}
score = 3487

load_comments(1045)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 10:19 a.m.
def  _Barack_Obama_has_urg ( self, category="news", adult=False, author="kev13n" ):
full_title = "Barack Obama has urged lawmakers to end a tax loophole that allows US companies to avoid paying US corporate taxes"
url = "http://www.bbc.com/news/business-28477890"

votes = {"up": 1328, "down":0}
score = 1328

load_comments(229)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 6:27 a.m.
def  _TIFU_by_taking_a_nap ( self, category="tifu", adult=True, author="itzfear" ):
full_title = "TIFU by taking a nap at my best friends house. NSFW"
show_self_text
"""
This happened two days ago so I thought I'd share it, but a little bit of back story. Me and my best friend (we'll call her Cara) have known each other since we were 13 (we're both 22 now). I don't have any interest in her besides being friends. I've seen her through good relationships and bad break-ups and vice-versa. Her current boyfriend (we'll call him David) who she's been dating for a year is a pretty cool guy, we all hang out, drink beer, shoot pool, etc. I try to avoid being the third wheel but they insist on having me around, but I think that's gonna change now. Story: Every other day we hang out over Cara's, play some Minecraft and CoD, and I head out for work. I usually leave at 5:30pm to be there at six, but I had taken that day off. Working 13 hour shifts is a bitch. Around 5:00pm I decided to go get some air, so I went out on the deck and sat by the pool, and I ended up drifting off to sleep. When I woke up it was 6:15pm and I wondering why they weren't out here with me. Then I remembered, I didn't tell them I took the day off, they probably thought I left for work and didn't bother. I'm thinking we can all go get pizza since I'm still here. As I head back inside with my craving for pizza, I walk straight through the kitchen and into the living room, and what do my eyes see? Cara, ass naked on the floor, riding David (who is handcuffed to the table btw) like a demon. At one point I thought she was going to break his pelvis (death by Snu-Snu!) She had a black dildo wielded in the air like she was about to charge into battle with it, and it was then I noticed David had red dick imprints on his face and chest. They both had 9 inch grins on they're faces until they turned and saw me and turned completely red. They were speechless with those "oh shit" facial expressions. Straight ahead on the tv, they still had Minecraft loaded up, the annoying music had stopped and all the damn farm animals were staring at me like they were waiting for my reaction. Even the damn chicken (or duck?) stopped to stare at me and that little bastard is always causing shenanigans! I told them "nah you guys finish up I'm gonna go home now" and left. The drive home consisted of me laughing like an idiot with tears in my eyes. Well two hours ago she sent me a text message saying "yeah, we need to talk about the other day". Idk know what's going to happen from here on out, hope it doesn't ruin our friendship. tl;dr: Went outside for some air at best friends house, went to sleep, woke up, went back inside, caught a front row of her and her boyfriend having freaky rough sex. Minecraft animals were staring at me like a sandwich. I never got my pizza. Update 7/24: Okay first off, Jeezus Reddit! I didn't think it'd be this popular! Second, I'm at work on my break, and yes an update is coming. Me her and David are meeting up for breakfast when I get off work so I'll update when we're done, and thank god they know nothing of Reddit. I'll keep you guys posted! Also I really want to get to the comments, you guys are awesome as hell.
"""

votes = {"up": 2511, "down":0}
score = 2511

load_comments(564)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 5:35 a.m.
def  _The_US_says_it_has ( self, category="worldnews", adult=False, author="bendymcbenders" ):
full_title = "The U.S. says it has "new evidence" that Russian forces have been firing artillery across the border to attack Ukrainian military positions, and that Moscow is planning to ship powerful rocket artillery to the rebels it backs in the country's east."
url = "http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/07/24/334974644/u-s-russia-based-artillery-targeting-ukrainian-troops?ft=1&f=1001"

votes = {"up": 2793, "down":0}
score = 2793

load_comments(809)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 2:17 a.m.
def  _The_flowers_in_this ( self, category="mildlyinteresting", adult=False, author="dirtyqtip" ):
full_title = "The flowers in this planter have migrated to the cracks in the sidewalk..."
url = "http://imgur.com/ndxJpdc"

votes = {"up": 3784, "down":0}
score = 3784

load_comments(307)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 2:20 a.m.
def  _Driver_Tailgating_a ( self, category="videos", adult=False, author="Astarlyne" ):
full_title = "Driver Tailgating a Cyclist Gets Instant Justice"
url = "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap9_jxEr_JA"

votes = {"up": 3341, "down":0}
score = 3341

load_comments(5640)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 1:59 a.m.
def  _Jerry_Seinfeld_loves ( self, category="IAmA", adult=False, author="_Seinfeld" ):
full_title = "Jerry Seinfeld loves answering questions! The dumber, the better. NOW."
show_self_text
"""
I did one of these [six months ago](http://www.reddit.com/comments/1ujvrg), and enjoyed the dialogue so much, I thought we’d do it again. Last week, we finished our fourth season of my web series called [Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee](http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com), and today we’re launching a between-the-seasons confection we’re calling Single Shots. It’s mini-episodes with multiple guests around a single topic. We’ll do one each week until we come back for Season 5 in the Fall. We just loaded the first one, called ‘Donuts’ onto the site (http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/). It’s about two minutes long, and features Tina Fey, Sarah Silverman, Alec Baldwin and Brian Regan. I'm in Long Island, and as she did last time, Victoria with reddit is facilitating. Ok, I’m ready. Go ahead. Ask me anything. https://twitter.com/JerrySeinfeld/status/492338632288526336 **Edit**: Okay, gang, that's 101 questions answered. I beat my previous record by one. And let's see if anyone can top it. If they do, I'll come back. And check out Donuts - who doesn't like donuts? http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/
"""

votes = {"up": 3455, "down":0}
score = 3455

load_comments(6415)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 1:26 a.m.
def  _LPT:_When_an_elderly ( self, category="LifeProTips", adult=False, author="RubberFistOfJustice" ):
full_title = "LPT: When an elderly person can't hear you, speak deeper not louder."
show_self_text
"""
Learned this in med school and I use it everyday! Edit: So far I've read all of your comments and the biggest thing I'm seeing is to enunciate and speak slower. The main reason I chose to not include this is because often people will over do.They will talk to the elderly or those with hearing problems and make them feel dumb , slow or mentally retarded. These tips will help you and your 95 year old grandma ha! Source : Murse.
"""

votes = {"up": 3292, "down":0}
score = 3292

load_comments(440)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 1:34 a.m.
def  _This_is_Noah_who's_8 ( self, category="GetMotivated", adult=False, author="zopip" ):
full_title = "This is Noah who's 8. He carried his disabled 6 year old brother through a triathlon. What have I done for someone else lately?"
url = "http://imgur.com/gallery/mUaUv"

votes = {"up": 3195, "down":0}
score = 3195

load_comments(331)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 2:24 a.m.
def  _I_wonder_if_I've_eve ( self, category="Showerthoughts", adult=False, author="Rhino200" ):
full_title = "I wonder if I've ever eaten a crab that was caught on TV."
show_self_text
"""
edit: Wow thanks for the gold, I really never thought this would grab a lot of attention!
"""

votes = {"up": 2467, "down":0}
score = 2467

load_comments(231)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 1:34 a.m.
def  _This_is_my_famous_ho ( self, category="food", adult=False, author="birdman619" ):
full_title = "This is my famous homemade fettuccine and fresh tomato sauce. It's a process but it's worth it. Here's the recipe in photo form."
url = "http://imgur.com/a/wB267"

votes = {"up": 2571, "down":0}
score = 2571

load_comments(276)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 1:11 a.m.
def  _I_turbocharged_my_mi ( self, category="DIY", adult=False, author="upvotes_cited_source" ):
full_title = "I turbocharged my minivan (with pictures this time!)"
url = "http://www.imgur.com/a/EL5JI"

votes = {"up": 2750, "down":0}
score = 2750

load_comments(1200)
return to_work
# July 24, 2014, 10:52 p.m.
def  _Study_shows_that_cro ( self, category="science", adult=False, author="mikepetroff" ):
full_title = "Study shows that crows can perform as well as 7- to 10-year-olds on cause-and-effect water displacement tasks"
url = "http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/07/140723180824.htm"

votes = {"up": 3900, "down":0}
score = 3900

load_comments(785)
return to_work
# July 24, 2014, 5:41 p.m.
def  _What's_the_closest_t ( self, category="AskReddit", adult=False, author="drain65" ):
full_title = "What's the closest thing you have to a superpower?"
show_self_text
"""
Thanks for all the awesome responses. Keep em' coming! I'm glad to know that if the world was ever in danger that reddit could band together and put on a pretty decent talent show.
"""

votes = {"up": 2788, "down":0}
score = 2788

load_comments(18505)
return to_work
# July 24, 2014, 10:20 p.m.
def  _Svartifoss,_Iceland ( self, category="EarthPorn", adult=False, author="lememeinator" ):
full_title = "Svartifoss, Iceland [3008x2000]"
url = "https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1090/541691325_e737535661_o.jpg"

votes = {"up": 3444, "down":0}
score = 3444

load_comments(191)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 6:18 a.m.
def  _Ridley_Scott's_Halo: ( self, category="television", adult=False, author="kastroescobar" ):
full_title = "Ridley Scott's Halo: Nightfall - First Look"
url = "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw2oqtZoc8s"

votes = {"up": 716, "down":0}
score = 716

load_comments(304)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 6:43 a.m.
def  _I_am_Federico_Piston ( self, category="Futurology", adult=False, author="federicopistono" ):
full_title = "I am Federico Pistono, author of "Robots Will Steal Your Job, But That's OK" - I've founded sustainability and political movements, been involved with the future(s) of education, work, digital democracy, and workable strategies for a transition into a post-scarcity society -- AMA"
show_self_text
"""
Hello reddit. [Federico Pistono](http://www.federicopistono.org/) here. I'm a computer scientist turned social activist, entrepreneur, and futurist. Ready for this AMA [(proof)](https://twitter.com/FedericoPistono/status/489050459538472960). Alien inside: http://i.imgur.com/IJRfHZ1.jpg Some context: * I'm founder and CEO of [Esplori](http://www.esplori.net/), an online learning startup. We want to democratize the tools for teaching and learning worldwide. We are a team of hackers and visionary nerds, like you. If you've got skills and care about the future of learning, drop me a message. * I co-founded (with many other people) the global sustainability advocacy organisation [The Zeitgeist Movement](http://www.thezeitgeistmovement.com/faq). Hint: it has nothing to do with "Zeitgeist: the Movie" or conspiracies. It's about using scientific thinking to move humanity forward (the name confusion is unfortunate). * I've been deeply involved with political activism and digital democracy, in particular with [The Five Star Movement](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Star_Movement) — now the second political party in Italy and AFAIK the first "*Internet Party*" to matter in a G8 country. * I've been part of [Singularity University](http://singularityu.org/) for a few years now, working a lot on the subject of AI, automation, existential risks, and the Future of Work. * My book ["*Robots Will Steal Your Job, But That's OK: How to Survive the Economic Collapse and Be Happy*"] (http://www.robotswillstealyourjob.com/) is also available [for free online] (http://www.robotswillstealyourjob.com/read). * I just finished writing a sci-fi young adults novella titled ["*A Tale of Two Futures*"] (http://www.federicopistono.org/books/tale2futures). * My next book is "*Society Reloaded*", which outlines the challenges and opportunities we face as a human race and proposes evidence-based solutions on how to transition within the next 20 into a post-scarcity, sustainable society. [Suggestions are welcome](http://opensourcesociety.net). * Some relevant lectures/debates I've had: * Debate with the Socialist Party of Great Britain http://youtu.be/hcFocV-f3ew * The Future of Society and new ways of learning @University Of Life Sciences in Oslo http://youtu.be/7xonyl-OcRo * Learning is for life @TEDxTaipei 2013 http://youtu.be/9HCcez4HJW0 * Robots Will Steal Your Job @TEDxVienna 2013 http://youtu.be/kYIfeZcXA9U * How Social Entrepreneurship Can Help Humanity @Nobel Peace Prize http://youtu.be/LfFW3W8sSAg I publish all of my works under a CC-BY-NC-SA license. Sharing is caring. If you're into bitcoin, send some love: 1FqWRPxtWRZ1VRjum1Q16U2U2m8XjpPXod Ask Me Anything! \V/, Edit: it's 3:47AM, I'm going to get some sleep :P I'll keep the AMA open, after I wake up I'll try to answer more of your great questions. Keep 'em coming, I'm having a super fun time!
"""

votes = {"up": 614, "down":0}
score = 614

load_comments(172)
return to_work
# July 25, 2014, 12:04 a.m.
def  _Americans_Really_Lik ( self, category="nottheonion", adult=False, author="krustynutsack01" ):
full_title = "Americans Really Like to Drink Beer, Says Unsurprising Poll"
url = "http://time.com/3026200/americans-drink-beer-over-wine-liquor/"

votes = {"up": 2038, "down":0}
score = 2038

load_comments(676)
return to_work
# July 24, 2014, 9:58 p.m.
def  _ELI5:How_is_it_we_ha ( self, category="explainlikeimfive", adult=False, author="gravitykilla" ):
full_title = "ELI5:How is it we have advanced medical science to a point where we can grow ears on mice but cannot grow hair on a bald head ?"
url = "http://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2bl5oa/eli5how_is_it_we_have_advanced_medical_science_to/"

votes = {"up": 2532, "down":0}
score = 2532

load_comments(1321)
return to_work
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